I’m not the selfish one

by autumnmirages

Don’t worry, this is the last one.

I’m sick of getting told that I’m selfish or that everyone like me is selfish. They think I want to die just because I’m miserable and it’s true, I am, but I have more reasons than just that. I’m sorry for not wanting to be a burden on anyone and not wanting to hurt others and not wanting to take up space. “What will I do without you?” “I need you in my life.” No you fucking don’t. If anything I’m just making your life worse. YOU’RE the selfish ones for insisting on keeping me here. You’re keeping me from doing something that in the end will help everyone else. Stop putting the blame on me. If there’s any part of my life that isn’t my fault, it’s that.

And the same goes for self harm. I need to do it so I can keep up this stupid facade I have to put on so everyone worries less and thinks I’m better than I actually am.